Nobody warned me about the tooth

I didn't know that Cameron losing his first tooth was gonna be such a big deal.................for me.  I knew it was gonna be a big deal for him.  After years of watching his friends lose their teeth and get new ones, Cameron finally lost his first baby tooth.   It was a big wait for him.  He watched classmates lose them in kindergarten and he couldn't wait until he lost one.  Kindergarten finished, no lost teeth.  Same thing in first grade.  Almost through his second grade year and he finally lost a tooth.  He asked me to pull it out, actually.  It was past bed time and I knew there wasn't going to be any sleeping going on if that tooth was still dangling in his mouth all night.  He really wanted it out and he wanted it out right away.  So, he braced himself and told me he would be brave.  He was so brave.  We got it out and the anticipation of that tooth coming out hit us both like a ton of bricks.  He couldn't believe it was out and ran to the mirror to see his smile.  I held that tooth in my hands and cried.  I wasn't expecting that.  My baby lost his tooth.  He isn't going to have that baby tooth any more.  He is gonna lose them all and get big teeth.  It is such a funny thing to me how that works.  The tooth in my hand reminded me that life goes so fast even when you are waiting for something exciting to happen.  We celebrated that tooth.  I let him stay up to tell daddy when he got home and call both sets of grandparents.  It was a big deal.  Every time I look at that smile I get a little ball in my throat.  I know it sounds silly but that tooth that he got so long ago was a part of him for so long and now its done.  I am reminded how special these years are with our boys.  I wish somebody would have warned me that the tooth was gonna be such a big thing and that I  might cry :)  Love you buddy!

He will take care of you

This morning my alarm went off for me to start my day with my devo.  The calm before the storm it sometimes seems.  I no longer sat up and read the title of my devotion, "Slow it down," and I hear Austin coming out of his room saying "wake up" and Jake rolled over and said "I am sick."  My husband is awesome.  There isn't a doubt about that.  He has been getting up with Austin and getting him to rest a little bit longer in his bed before waking up the whole house.  I knew Austin wasn't going to do the same thing for me but I met him at his door, got him to go back in and close it.  We talked a little bit about school and read a couple books and the rest of the house got about 20 minutes more of rest.

Jake and I had the dining room table all set up for St Patricks Day.  Fun hats and necklaces and mustaches and other decorations.  I thought Jake and I would start the day off wearing silly green mustashes.  It didn't happen that way and that's ok.  We did our devo and surprisingly they all sat and listenend.  It was about Jesus calming the storm.  Kind of funny how things just seem to tie in together constantly.  It seems like the Holy Spirit isn't wanting me to miss a thing lately.  Things are clear and they are just what I need to hear.  Over and over again, I hear God's sweet words.  This morning the boys and I talked about how God was gonna be with them always, no matter how small the boat or how big the storm (taken from Jesus storybook Bible).

We all piled in the van for drop off.  Normally Jake and I split up on Tuesdays but not today.  As we were going out the door the boys asked "who is going to stay home with daddy?"  I couldn't help but smile and think of it from their perspective.  I told them I would come back home and stay with daddy and get him what he needs.  This morning I am thankful that the boys know we will take care of them when they are sick, in the storm, and I pray they read this one day and know that God is gonna carry them through their storm, no matter how small the boat or how big the storm.  Amen.

Sweet moments.......

I had a few minutes to sit by myself this morning and as I did I found my eyes drawn to a quote on our kitchen wall. "This is the day The Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24). As I sat by myself in a house that is normally filled with life I was determined to look for the joy and be the joy today. It felt good to make that choice this morning. I will be honest. Some days don't always start out that way..........

I saw and felt joy today and want to remember it in these moments.

-Nolan saying, " I am sure gonna miss mom when I go to kindergarten."
-Cameron reading his mystery book in his room that he couldn't wait to finish
-Austin leading Cameron and Nolan around playing "Simon Says" and reviewing his hallway rules for school with them (this was an awesome family moment)
-the smile on Jake's face when he brought Cam home from school today and Nolan and Austin were jumping straight up and down with excitement to see them
-making silly faces with Nolan and taking selfies ;)
-Cameron tucking Austin in for bed and saying "I just love that baby boy and his soft forehead."
-Jake playing Simon Says with Austin 209 times
-Austin saying "hands up" and making us do his snack song....... And then praying about calendar
-reading "Morris the Moose" to Cam and Nolan and cracking up because it's a silly book!
-watching the sweet movie Austin's teacher shared with us from school
-watching all of the boys love on their kitties
-singing out loud in the shower
-Austin saying "check on daddy" after I kiss him goodnight
-looking at Nolan's big beautiful eyes
-Cameron telling us at supper how he got to see Austin at school and give him a high 5

There were so many more but tonight as the house is quiet once again I am thankful for those simple moments in our day.  My prayer for our boys is that they see the joy in loving God and loving people and that they want to spend their own days doing the same.

Those boys......

get me every time with their smiles.  I just adore them!  It has been awhile since an update.  I have tried but our computer hasn't been cooperative :)  Here are some recent pictures of the boys.

Name:  Austin

Age:  3 years 4 months

Interests:  Ozzy, Daisy, Simon Says, tickles, swinging, jumping, watching funny cat videos, leading us in his school snack song at every meal..................3 times, reading books, spinning in his bilibo, closing doors on people, and making silly movies on daddy's phone

Favorite foods:  his green shake, strawberries, blueberries, pretzels, yogurt, apples, bananas, cookies, cantaloupe, cereal bars, ice cream, ranch and the list goes on.  This boy can eat and is growing fast!

Favorite Color:  Blue

Favorite Song:  This Little Light of Mine

Favorite Book:  Snuggle Puppy

Name:  Nolan
Age:  5 years 4 months
Interests:  Chasing Daisy, playing Dragon City on his kindle, swinging, holding Daisy, checking temperature of Daisy's and Ozzy's ears, watching "Peep And The Big Wide World," watching "Bubble Guppies," building things out of whatever he can find, telling time, reading, playing in the tunnel in the basement with Daddy, Cam, and Austin
Favorite Foods:  Ice cream, brownies, rice cakes with honey or nutella, blueberries, strawberries,  rice chex and corn chex with honey, apple slices, carrots
Favorite Color:  All the colors except purple and pink
Favorite Song:  Happy Birthday Jesus
Favorite Book:  Little Critter Books (any and all)

Name:  Cameron
Age:  8 years 1 month
Interests:  telling jokes, playing Dragon City on his kindle, Ninjago, laughing and tickling people, cornering Daisy with Nolan, playing with Austin and Nolan, spinning in the bilibo, playing outside whenever possible, playing Skylanders on the Wii, Wii fit,
Favorite Foods:  Salad with Italian dressing or ranch, carrots and ranch, blueberries, strawberries, cereal bars, pancakes, waffles, chicken, mashed potatoes, potato soup
Favorite Color:  Green
Favorite Song:  Ninjago Song
Favorite Book:  Ninjago

These boys are the best and I couldn't love them any more if I tried, but I am beyond excited to go on a date with their daddy tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Austin, Sensory Processing, and Gluten

I have been thinking about this post for some time and wasn't exactly sure how I would go about writing it.  It is real, it is personal, and it is tough stuff, but I feel like we should share our story.  I guess I should start at the beginning.

Austin is our 3rd son and we had lots of love to give him when he was born!  We were so thankful for him and Cameron and Nolan, his big brothers, were excited to have another person join our family.  The first few months seemed like a blur with nursing constantly and caring for 2 other little boys.  Austin was a sweetheart and had the most adorable little smile and loved watching his brothers play.  He was a light sleeper, didn't like baths for a few months, and loved his vibrating seat and swing.  He seemed pretty go with the flow for the first year over all, though.  It seemed like we had a harder time with Nolan screaming and fighting sleep, crying constantly in his car seat, and throwing fits when I would try and nurse him for months.  Austin nursed for over a year and did awesome.  He did have some sound sensitivities but lots of babies do.  Jake and I would always joke when we went places "Do we have the baby?"  He was awesome!

Flash forward, we decided to have Austin screened through Early Intervention because he wasn't walking at 19 months and his foot angled out.  He also seemed short tempered and would get upset if people would get in his space, loud noises scared him, and he didn't like people singing :)  He had his eval, qualified for Physical Therapy and we started in home therapy shortly after.  He didn't qualify for speech or any other therapy at that time after having a Global Assessment.  After a little while he began walking but his foot pointed out and his ankles were over pronated, which we were concerned about.  After 6 months he was released from physical therapy even though he still had problems with his feet, ankles, and body tone. It didn't feel right at the time but we didn't know what else to do.

By this point Austin was having more fits and hitting his head on the floor quite frequently.  He seemed overwhelmed with life on so many levels.  I literally followed him around the house sitting behind him to catch him when he would throw himself back and hit his head.  Loud noises made him do it, his brothers fighting made him do it, communication frustration made him do it.  It was completely overwhelming for our entire family on so many levels.  It was exhausting and I cannot tell you the number of times I dropped to my knees in prayer for our baby.  For God to protect his head and for us to know how to help him.  Going anywhere was tough.  Home life was tough. If you are reading this and you are experiencing this on some level please know that you are not alone and I pray that you have the people in life that you need to encourage you and ask how you are and how your child is instead of "what is wrong with him?" 

I have my teaching degree and spent a few years as an aide with Special Ed and also as a one-on-one aide to a little boy in Early Childhood.  I had no idea that the friends I made during those years and the information I learned during that time was going to equip me for daily life with our son.  Even though Austin had been released from therapy we put in a request for more evals.  We knew we needed extra help and he wasn't going to "grow out of it."  We all have our own sensory quirks.  I couldn't eat bananas for years because of the texture and would gag at every single poopy diaper until I had my own kids.  With some kids, their sensory problems affect their daily life and it is so much better to get them help as soon as you can.  We had an OT eval and learned that Austin had some sensory processing problems (which we already knew).  He was tactile defensive, sensory seeking, and had problems with his proprioceptive and vestibular processing.  I know that sounds like a lot of big words but it made sense. He gagged at the sight of the playdoh jar, he was constantly seeking input to jump and bounce into us, his balance and coordination were off.  His brain takes in a lot through his senses and they get jumbled up when they should be getting organized.  Great!  We had it figured out.  Then we were told we were on a waiting list and the meltdowns and headbanging were stronger than ever. Tantrums were intense and we had to keep him safe but touching him set him off even more.   Thankfully God was on top of this and used somebody from our small group to connect us with her sister who was an Occupational Therapist.  Long story short, she started seeing Austin in our home even though she worked in a clinic and we didn't have to wait months on a list.  She also recommended another Physical Therapist eval.  So we put in for that again, with a different therapist.  He had that eval and another answer to prayers.  He qualified and she also knew so much about sensory.  We learned a ton about Austin and how his brain was working and worked to get a sensory diet in place for him and we saw some awesome things.  by 2 1/2 he was still having a hard time with his language.  So, we put in for a speech eval.  We learned what it means to advocate for your child. He qualified and we got a wonderful speech therapist. 

Throughout all of this time Austin was making huge gains but he was still hitting his head on the floor, the wall, his bed, his swing, his car seat,  the basement floor.  He also started biting his wrist in frustration.  I'm sure that everybody had their own opinion on how to handle those situations, but when it is your child and he isn't going to stop hurting himself, you can't just ignore that behavior.  When your baby is hitting his head and could injure his brain there are lots of prayers, tears, prayers, and more tears.  Jake was gone for 3 weeks this summer and Austin was up to 3 sessions of therapy a week.  He picked up aquatic therapy and responded very well with that.  There were days and weeks that didn't seem like they were gonna be okay.  I will never forget the second week that Jake was gone and somebody from church asked to keep Austin for a few hours.  The big boys were with their grandparents for 2 nights and Austin and I were home for therapy.  Life was tough for Austin which made it tough for the people taking care of him so babysitters didn't happen too often.  I can also assure you that people didn't ask to keep him.  That night got me through so much and Austin had a blast with our friend from church.    I know there are people reading this and you completely understand.  I am writing this for you.  To share our story so that you know in this moment that you are not alone.  I get how you love your kid more than anything else in the world and you are gonna do everything you possibly can to fight and help your kid.  I think the world of you!

During some of those therapy sessions I had conversations about taking gluten out of Austin's diet.  There are some kids that have food sensitivities that can affect how they grow and learn as well as how they behave.  For months we talked about putting Austin on a gluten free diet.  It seemed overwhelming as a family of 5 and also with the expense. 

Jake and I took our 10 year anniversary trip in November.  We planned and saved and purposely went at that time after Austin had started Early Childhood and he had a smooth transition into school.  He was doing well and we were so proud.  His teacher and team were amazing and we couldn't have been happier with his plan for school.  But, he was still hitting his head and throwing fits.  Jake and I were gone for a week.  We needed that week so badly and had an awesome time.  The 3 boys stayed home with their awesome grandparents and they did all the running around, meals, bedtimes, and nap times.  They were awesome and we were so thankful.  Austin had a really hard week.  He had an increase in behavior and was very overwhelmed by the end of the week and even at school.  When we got home there was a lot of tantrums, headbanging at the drop of a hat, and a lot of anxiety.  We were so completely overwhelmed for him and his safety that we put a bike helmet on him just in hopes of keeping him a little safer.  He even wore it to church one Sunday.  It's tough and I know that some of you have come across this blog from googling sensory processing, headbanging, or gluten at 11 o clock at night in tears because you aren't quite sure what to do. 

Thanksgiving Day we stayed home.  We didn't go to our family meal because it was gonna be too much for all of us at this point.  It was a hard decision but we know it is what we needed to do.  After many texts with some old therapists and our new OT we decided to take Austin off of gluten.  If there was a chance that he might feel better we were gonna try it no matter how hard or expensive or overwhelming it was.  Life was already tough.  We were up for it :)

This is what we have seen so far after 1 week at home:

After 1 1/2 years to 2 years of banging his head and having minimal control over his emotions, Austin has stopped hitting his head by about 90 percent of the time.  We kept waiting for it and he did it a few times when he was tired or overwhelmed but there was a dramatic difference in our lives that first week.  All the research we read and our therapist said it could take a couple months to even know if he was being affected by gluten.  He started to talk more. We spent more time as a family and played games like Simon Says and Follow the Leader.

After 2 weeks of being off gluten:

He has quit banging his head by about 95 percent.  He is saying sentences like "Daddy, play with me." He also said, "Daddy, I saw blue lights" as we drove around looking at lights the other night.  He smiles and laughs so much more.  He plays with his brothers more.  Does he still get frustrated?  Sure he does, but we are able to say his name and redirect him in a way that we have never been able to before.  We are able to tell him to get his puppy and console him and hold him when that would have made him bang and get madder before.  We can give him kisses for his boo boos and he says "that's better."  When he starts to get upset we are able to ask him if he can please calm down.  He says "yes" and most of the time he is able to bring himself back down.  Something that has been very difficult for him. 


I don't know what the next few weeks or months are going to look like for our family.  I know that some people will think we are crazy as we read labels and bring our own food for Austin and he won't always understand it all.  But we are totally okay with that.  Yes, Austin has a lot of other sensory things and speech that we will be working on but my goodness, the fact that he is so much safer now will give us more of the chance to do those things.  He may regress at times, and in uncomfortable places, he will probably have a hard time, but we are going to help him through it.  So, if you are reading this post and are thinking about a diet change for your child. I say go for it and give it a try!  What do you have to lose?  I know it isn't the case for all children but it is certainly worth a try.  We will keep you posted on Austin and if we see any more changes after some more time. 

Valentine's Day!

Here is the boys opening a Valentine from Joe and Holle :)

Love!

Big Boy Bed

Austin is in a toddler bed now and he thinks he is a pretty big deal.  He went from being in a crib in a room by himself to being in this bed and sharing a room with Nolan.  He loves it.  Nolan reads him "When I Get Bigger" every night before they go to sleep and we often hear "Austin, sit down on your bed."  "Austin, please get back in bed."

Austin climbing steps to slide

We were so proud of Austin this morning!  He climbed the steps to the slide all by himself and he was a BIG deal!  Love celebrating these moments!

Lilly

I have been waiting a while to post this because it was so sad.  It's been a couple weeks now.  Lilly, our 11 1/2 year old kitty had a few days of not eating.  She seemed like she was trying to cough up a hairball so we thought maybe something was stuck.  We decided we had to get her to the vet to see what was going on.  We found out that she had a large tumor in her stomach that was pushing against her lungs causing them to not work properly.   The tumor was inoperable and the vet said there was nothing they could do.  We were so sad and we still are sad.  She was the best cat and so much of our family from the beginning even before Jake and I were married.  She always seemed to sense when I was pregnant with each of the boys and would put her paws on my belly when I would lay down.  She was Jake's girl.  I used to call her his girlfriend.  We still look for her.  Nolan told me today that he still misses her and Austin still goes to the window saying "kitty?"  Cam took it the hardest.  Such a hard thing to explain to kids.  We have a gap in our house right now.  The boys want to adopt a new kitten.  We told them we would talk about it more after Christmas.  The thing is........no other kitty can compare to Lilly Bell!  We love you!
 

Whistle

Cameron came home from school with a huge smile on his face.........and then he whistled.  He has been practicing this for a really long time.  He used to think he was whistling when he was making high pitched noises but now he can do it for real!  So proud of him!

Austin playing with his letters

Love this weather!

We had an early supper the other night and took the boys down to the park.  They had so much fun and we did, too.  Austin is trying to do a little more on his own these days and we are proud of him for the progress he is making.  There wasn't a game going on so we let the boys run the ball field and play in the dugout. 

 

 

 

 

Ms Sue

We love you, Ms Sue.  A member of our church found out a couple months ago that she has stage for pancreatic cancer.  We pray for Ms Sue daily.  We missed the group picture so we took a family pick in our shirts to show her we support her! 

Does this look ok, mom?

First Day of School

Cam started first grade this year and he was so excited!  He was looking forward to spending time with his friends, doing school activities, and I think getting a break from his little brothers :)  He is having a great week and loves his new teacher!

 

 

Weeks

Cam:  593 weeks
Nolan:  697 weeks
Austin:  801 weeks

until graduation!  Just keeping that time frame in mind as we try and shape these little boys.  Nothing better than being their mama!

Zoo

We had a great day at the zoo a few weeks ago with Jake's parents.  The weather was perfect and we even wore light jackets at times.  Such a fun day with great memories.  Here are a few :)

So. Much. Fun!